How now Dan Brown

Dan Brown's new book, The Lost Symbol, came out at midnight last night, and the publishing world hasn't been this excited since the seventh Harry Potter book. Even competitors are looking at the publication with salivary glands on overdrive, assuming that hordes of fans will throng the bookstores and drive sales of other books.

I'm still not sure I'll read it. I'm still trying to unravel the mystery of the conspiracy of where my daughter put the TV remote, so one about the secret messages in the buildings of Washington will seem redundant.

Luckily though, I won't ever have to pick up a Dan Brown novel again. Slate has come up with this handy-dandy Dan Brown plot generator. So if I'm ever in the mood for conspiracy, it''l take five minutes to satisfy instead of all those pages. That's good to know, in case I want to find the secret behind the secret behind the...Boy Scouts of America?