Thursday, December 19, 2013

Winners of the HFR Elementary Writing Contest! (3 of 4)

We hope you are enjoying these student stories as much as we are! Just as we promised last time, here are three more winning stories from Meera, Zane, and Holly of Dobson Montessori School. Remember, these stories are all in response to Caleb Charland’s “Silhouette With Matches” (found below), featured in HFR #52.

By Meera, first grade
Once upon a time, there were very weird fireworks. Suddenly, they turned into fire. Then a magical creature popped out. In a low-toned, growling voice, he said, “I will offer you three wishes.”

I asked, “Can one of them be for my friend?”

“Okay,” he said, “but only one.”

I said, “Okay, but can I do it tomorrow?”

“No, no, no!” he said.

I said, “Okay, okay, okay!”

“I see in your mind that you want a giant bowl of ice cream,” he said. Then it just appeared.

“No, no, no. I didn’t want it, I was just thinking of it!”

He said in a grouchy voice, “Then what do you want?”

“Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you!”

I said, “Okay, chillax, monster.”

“I’m not a monster!”

“I meant to say weird creature. Now, now, now, stop yelling at me.”

He said, “Okay. I’m sorry.”

I wished for a cute puppy and a cute little cat. For my friend, I wished for her to have a happy family.

The End.

By Zane, fourth grade
Once there was a man who lived in a cabin in a very pretty forest. The man’s name was Josh. Josh had brown hair and he was in his thirties.

One day, Josh was on a walk through the forest. He walked for a long time, but something seemed wrong about this walk, even though he had walked through this same forest many times. Josh kept walking because he knew that if he just kept following the dirt trail, he would find a house with people in it to guide him.

Josh didn’t find any houses anywhere, but he did find a castle at the end of the path! He got to the castle and knocked on the gate. The gate flew open and a wizard was there. “What do you want?” asked the Wizard.

“I’m lost and I’m hoping you can help me find my way home,” Josh said.

“Okay, fine, but you have to make one sacrifice. You will be invisible forever.”

“Why can’t you just give me the directions and let me go?” said Josh.

“I was going to instantly transport you there.”

“Oh, okay,” said Josh.

“Now, you must go into that fireplace. Say the name of where you want to go, and it will take you there. So go, before you miss the Fourth of July fireworks!” said the Wizard.

“It’s the Fourth of July?”

“Yes, now go! Quick! Before you miss the fireworks!”

Josh ran up to the fireplace, and said the name of where he wanted to go. He walked into the fireplace, and at once, his body hit the ground. He looked at himself and around him. The wizard was right: he was now invisible. Josh ran to an open field, and then he could see the fireworks.

By Holly, fifth grade
There was a young boy named Tommy. He was very interested in fire, and he loved anything having to do with fire and bright stuff. Then he grew older and turned thirty years old.

Today was the Fourth of July, his favorite holiday. Tommy was going to go watch the fireworks, which were probably his favorite thing. When he got there, it was five minutes until the show was going to start. Tommy thought to himself how he had to find a way to figure out how fireworks work. When the show started, he got up from his seat and went behind the tent to find the fireworks, where he could watch and learn. He saw the fireworks shooter, where they launched the fireworks, which were just shooting out one after the other. He thought it was just amazing. He just stood and watched. He watched as the fireworks flew high in the sky. He began to move closer and closer to the fireworks shooter until he was right in front of it. The shooter was so powerful that it knocked him down and he ended up being knocked unconscious.

When he woke up, he looked behind him and could still see the fireworks. He thought that this was the longest firework show he had ever seen! He started to walk back, but realized that no one was there. He looked everywhere. He could still see the fireworks coming out of the shooter. He turned around, and there was the most incredible display of fireworks he had ever seen. The ground even seemed to be covered with fire, but he did not understand how he could be standing in the fire.

Tommy also did not understand who was shooting off the fireworks. He realized he was dead, and no one was shooting off the fireworks. They were just going off on their own. He got to live in a place where there were fireworks all the time, around every day. He felt lucky to get to be where he could see his favorite thing all the time.

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