Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Holiday Wish List for Literary Figures

Over here at Hayden’s Ferry Review, we hope everyone had a lovely holiday season and is enjoying the new year in full! To celebrate, intern Gloria Bonnell compiled this fun list of gifts you might give for the favorite fictional character in your life.

For Emily: a rose.

For the Westerhazys: a bottle of Claret. (remove Ned and Lucinda from the gift list).

For Bailey’s mother: a map to the plantation (the one in Tennessee).

For Connie: hairspray, mace, cell phone, two tickets to the Sunday movies (add encouraging note to take a friend).

For Eve (Sophie’s mother): a home security system. (Add a note about how nice it must be to stay in the country.)

For Anders: The Gentlemen's Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness: Being a Complete Guide for a Gentleman's Conduct in All His Relations Towards Society: Containing Rules for the Etiquette to be Observed in the Street, at Table, in the Ball Room, Evening Party, and Morning Call: with Full Directions for Polite Correspondence, Dress, Conversation, Manly Exercises, and Accomplishments : from the Best French, English, and American Authorities (free – couldn’t stand to spend any money on him – too many rejections).

For Miss Mandible: mail her a care package (without prison “contraband”).

For Gene’s son Frankie: a bee suit and smoker.

For Sonny: sheet music, Scotch and milk.

For Dmitri Dmitrich Gurov: Just for Men (touch of gray).

For Ann and Howard: a phone with caller I.D. (remember to send along batteries).

Compiling the gift list is always difficult, so help us out. Who have we forgotten and what should they get?

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