Come See our New Website
Friday, July 10, 2009
New Words to Commit to Memory Foam
Merriam-Webster has just released its list of words newly added to the dictionary. So, get learnin! If you've been creating a "sock puppet" or "waterboarding" before now, it's been unofficial. Anyone who can use three of them in a single sentence, gets a free back issue of HFR. Post 'em here!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
It was like some WEBISODE of the O.C.; us STAYCATIONing at her parent's guest house and drinking GOJI and ACAI-infused ice teas into the afternoon. We laughed at the NEUROPROTECTIVE properties of the mullet, made SOCK-PUPPETS that talked dirty to eachother and finally left our mark on the MEMORY FOAM like summer wasn't about to end.
Lynndie England contends she was sock puppet for the abuses at Abu Ghraib. Just a tourist on a hellish staycation posing for a walk-on part in a webisode for her boyfriend's vlog. That moment became an earmark for a whole f***d-up flash mob of hate, directed at her, directed at her post, directed at the war, dragging down whole decades of fan fiction about America to ash in the world's esteem. From then on, her life would be punctuated by a ceaseless series of waterboarding episodes of derision slyly leveled at her at the dollar store, at Wall-Mart, permeating her memory foam.
I'm usually in support of spending government funds for social welfare, but when the health care bill includes earmarks for zip line excursions, late-night shawarma runs, and sock puppets, that's going a little too far.
Dr. Horace P. Wingaersheek never understood why his wife died and her sister lived—the drug was supposed to be CARDIOPROTECTIVE, NEUROPROTECTIVE—but the field of PHARMACOGENETICS was a new one, and few, if any, could explain how genetic differences between individuals translated into different physical responses to a given medication.
My new prescription regimen had me eating shawarma for the dharma, goji for the mojo, and naproxen for detoxin'.
I had earmarked some funds for a fantastic summer, but since the economy collapsed I'm having a lame staycation sitting in my house listening to reggeaton and writing Star Trek fan fiction.
Thanks for replying, everyone! Send your address to hfr@asu.edu, and I'll mail out a back issue.
Post a Comment